Love the same

If i have to proove to you that i love you just the same.

I have to wait for it.

Until i can write a love letter that never ask you to love me back.

And have no one in half of my heart for years. 

Just to proove

That i love you just the same.

Fra.

Thats just enough

I'd always wanted to say that if you're anywhere where i can see.

Thats just enough.

And i'm really sorry for not thinking bout your safety.

I was selfish.

Born to be alone

Is it me?

Or is it my fate to be alone?

It always feels like i'm a statue.

And all the animals are with their partner.

Straying around me.

You know how that feels like?

Do you know it?

Do you?

Hey!!!

Answer me!!!!!!

Kemanusiaan masih terasa garam

Cuba kalian bayangkan jika dunia tanpa agama.

ya zaman Jahilliah. Tepat.

Cuba pula kalian bayangkan jika dunia tanpa kemanusiaan.

pasti

aku 

yang 

sedang

menulis

ini

pun 

mati 

ditikam

depan 

karya 

aku 

sendiri

tanpa

sempat

tekan

publish.

Jadi entri sudah dipublish kan?
Masih berperikemanusiaan kita ni.
*sengih

Brown eyes

You know what.

Your eyes are really beautiful.

Your smile is amazing.

Your face...

Just charming.

Simple and natural.

I miss you always.

In a good way.

Thank you S.

For being my S.

See u soon! 

InsyaAllah.

INSANE/SAINT

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.
IM FUCKED YOU KNOW.
FUCKED!

I RARELY CURSE BUT STILL I RESTRAIN MYSELF TO DO SO.
AND I'M SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS RIGHT NOW.

I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE.

OH LORD HEAR ME OUT.

I WANT PEACE AND I WANT LOVE!

IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?

IF IT IS.
WELL I'M SORRY OKAY!
I'M SORRY!!!

AND NO INTOXICANT MAY RECOVER ME.
AND I DON'T KNOW WEATHER TO BE SAD OR MAD.
ALTHOUGH THE TWO WORDS RHYME TOGETHER.

MAYBE THIS IS THE PROCESS OF BEING INSANE.

OR SAINT.

A dagger, A heart. together.

I can hear tune of piano in my ear.

It was a sad, sad rhythm.

I saw you with my heart, mind.

Always felt like the first time. Always.

I never left.

You did dear...

You did...

And you take my heart and put it in a dark chest with a dagger pierce through it.

Just wait for it to be numb. Fade.

Yes, you

That sweet face of yours i cannot imagine at all.

The veil that covers.

Make me shiver.

In happiness or in pain.

You're there again and again.

Only God can pair us up.

Over the silver lining of the cloud.

You're just lovely and sweet.

Nothing

You're the wicked witch that fall in love with a cheater.

Well, i know i just don't fit in the story.

I'll proove it

One day you'll see.

I'll be a better person than all of you!!!!

You'll see!

Living heartless man

I waited outside.

In the winter snow.

Till summer melt it all away.

autumn leaves fall.

Darlin'

I'm here watching you with her.

Fighting.

Kissing

Killing.

I'm guessing;

Shes your life.

I never wanted to take your life away

Llike you did to mine.

"You are my life..."

I whisper to myself.

Tears froze on my face.

I wish i would go insane.

It would be easier. 

Or worst.

I don't know.

Friends

They always stabbed in each others back;

but now and then they pull out their knife and keep them for later.

"You're stupid sometimes."

"Yes I am but I'm your closed friend, remember?"

"So I'm stupid too then?"

"You're special kind of stupid."

"I love you."

"I'm not gay you know."

"Yeah I know! but i am."

"I love you anyway..."

-----

They are stupid.
but they help each other in whatever situation except when they're killing one another.

They can ripped each others chest and pull out two hearts.
Exchange of hearts.

sew it again.

stab again. ripped again. sew again.

until every pieces of them are with each other.

They smiled as cut each others throat simultaneously for the last time.

A voice far away

It was five years later or maybe ten.

I search for you on that particular day.
Everywhere.

I wish I would find you.
and you would find me.

I would be lonely dear.
Like always I am loner in this world.

Well dear.
please feel this in your heart(you are my heart)

I cried every single day.
before i meet you again.

Its very painful to have no heart.

Just a bottle with one of your love letter inside.
That never beat.

You know how numb it felt(very).
I cannot feel anything except(you).

but now...
maybe or maybe not.

I will be in the corner of the cafe you'd love to go.
Maybe we'll meet there.

again.

Maybe just my soul.
because i do not know how long i would live.

Sweetheart(Please hear me, I'm calling you)

Shivering

It's not cold at all.
My hands, i look at them shivering.
They're very pale.

I'm shivering.
I don't know why.
Maybe my heart began to get cold.

...

Wait...

I don't have a heart.

Or maybe.

you put it in inside a freezer somewhere.

Its so cold.
you're cold.
and I'm getting old.

dear,

every second ticks.

you're my warmth.

dear...

Drive by

I'm angry.
I'm sad.
I feel numb.
I scream it all in my head.

This life is stupid.
am I that stupid?

But do not blame it all to yourself!

so this is a drive by.

*take out my derringer pistol
*bring down the drivers window.

I shot some hookers.
I shot some elderly;
they need to die, they're old and wasted.

headshots.

-----

Parked my car at an empty lot.
I took out my menthol cigarette.
finished it.

*BANG

-----

"Hey, this guy painted the drivers seat red."

"I think its blood."

They threw his dead body in a dump.
And took away his Mercedes Benz 280se 1979.

It was a nice car you know. and---
This tune was heard
[James Blunt - if time is all I have]

Escapade

I went for a drink.
It didn't make me drunk.
Just make me feel the sensation of escapade.

My head exploded.
But still I walked in the park at night.
Without myself realized that the stars watched me behind those dark clouds.
They danced like never before.

The stars are celebrating something.
I think its because my head exploded.

and
my heart...
went missing.

It was because of them.
But i do not want to blame them.

Stupid stars.

Heart to heart

You dont know how much i miss you...

But i can never say it to you dear.

Its because I know you're somebody elses.

I just you to be happy for now.

I never wanted to hurt anyone especially you my sweet.

I'll be alright sweetheart.

I'll be alright...

Please dont hurt me anymore.

Without knowing.

U stab me again.

In front of my chest.

I stay quiet as u stab plenty of times.

But still--

I

Remain

Quiet in my silence.

Because my heart is not there.

I already gave it to you.

And what u stabbed just now

Was only a glass bottle with a letter inside.

It was your love letter for me that I kept;

Always inside.

NUMB IT AGAIN

Just numb it.
again.
again.
again.

Just give me a ship-load of drugs.
I promise i'll be alright.

*Throw away my glass of scotch

I'll be alright dear.
I'll be alright.

I'm tired of never fixing the pain.