A voice far away

It was five years later or maybe ten.

I search for you on that particular day.
Everywhere.

I wish I would find you.
and you would find me.

I would be lonely dear.
Like always I am loner in this world.

Well dear.
please feel this in your heart(you are my heart)

I cried every single day.
before i meet you again.

Its very painful to have no heart.

Just a bottle with one of your love letter inside.
That never beat.

You know how numb it felt(very).
I cannot feel anything except(you).

but now...
maybe or maybe not.

I will be in the corner of the cafe you'd love to go.
Maybe we'll meet there.

again.

Maybe just my soul.
because i do not know how long i would live.

Sweetheart(Please hear me, I'm calling you)

Shivering

It's not cold at all.
My hands, i look at them shivering.
They're very pale.

I'm shivering.
I don't know why.
Maybe my heart began to get cold.

...

Wait...

I don't have a heart.

Or maybe.

you put it in inside a freezer somewhere.

Its so cold.
you're cold.
and I'm getting old.

dear,

every second ticks.

you're my warmth.

dear...

Drive by

I'm angry.
I'm sad.
I feel numb.
I scream it all in my head.

This life is stupid.
am I that stupid?

But do not blame it all to yourself!

so this is a drive by.

*take out my derringer pistol
*bring down the drivers window.

I shot some hookers.
I shot some elderly;
they need to die, they're old and wasted.

headshots.

-----

Parked my car at an empty lot.
I took out my menthol cigarette.
finished it.

*BANG

-----

"Hey, this guy painted the drivers seat red."

"I think its blood."

They threw his dead body in a dump.
And took away his Mercedes Benz 280se 1979.

It was a nice car you know. and---
This tune was heard
[James Blunt - if time is all I have]

Escapade

I went for a drink.
It didn't make me drunk.
Just make me feel the sensation of escapade.

My head exploded.
But still I walked in the park at night.
Without myself realized that the stars watched me behind those dark clouds.
They danced like never before.

The stars are celebrating something.
I think its because my head exploded.

and
my heart...
went missing.

It was because of them.
But i do not want to blame them.

Stupid stars.

Heart to heart

You dont know how much i miss you...

But i can never say it to you dear.

Its because I know you're somebody elses.

I just you to be happy for now.

I never wanted to hurt anyone especially you my sweet.

I'll be alright sweetheart.

I'll be alright...

Please dont hurt me anymore.

Without knowing.

U stab me again.

In front of my chest.

I stay quiet as u stab plenty of times.

But still--

I

Remain

Quiet in my silence.

Because my heart is not there.

I already gave it to you.

And what u stabbed just now

Was only a glass bottle with a letter inside.

It was your love letter for me that I kept;

Always inside.

NUMB IT AGAIN

Just numb it.
again.
again.
again.

Just give me a ship-load of drugs.
I promise i'll be alright.

*Throw away my glass of scotch

I'll be alright dear.
I'll be alright.

I'm tired of never fixing the pain.