I always wondered how the heart dance.
How it sang its tune before Allah with its true colours shine through.
The light that shines the world.
Oh what a magnificient view.
Such beautiful heart.
Do they exist in this world now?
How I wish to see that one day with this heart.
Hey little one...
You grew a lot in strength.
In love...
You're everything I use to imagine.
I hope you'll find the door of serenity again and again...
Have you ever wonder what love really is?
Is it as simple and clear or complicated?
Is it easy or hard?
To meet God Himself. The Beloved...
That is the way... not to go to His heaven nor hell.
How I wish to meet God.
He who know God never dies. They live forever in the heart.
This is my path. It is not yours.
So please let me be.
God loves me and never want me to go astray.
I believe that.
This is the path of love.
You made it this far and I am so proud of you.
I remember like it was yesterday, you playing with your friends. Riding your cool BMX bicycle your mother bought you. Your first day of school. You got bullied for the first time. Playing video games at your neighbor's house. Then your mother bought you your own Playstation so that you won't have to fight to play. Then you made friends and best friends along the way. You graduated and published some papers. Although you feel like lacking something remember that you've always had fun living your life even if you're not working yet. You don't have to follow other people's 'timeline'. You have your own 'timeline' that God made you, you. Your own special story for you to tell.
From the start you're so smart. You can fix things, build things like cardboard boat that have its own engine. At that time you're just nine! nobody could do that. You have this imagination that could make you want to build something or fix things. Thats special! Now you're learning to ease people's heart. Even you're quiet but you have a compassionate heart. It's expensive to access that these days. Your values, skills. You enjoy doing that. That's your treasure to keep. Helping people write and give them ideas. Even you want to teach others. That is amazing traits that you have.
Now tell me have you even accepted that? Accept that you're special to me. I love you no matter what you did. I still need you in my life forever. Maybe one day other people will need you too. So live your life and enjoy every bits of it. God will heal you as time passes by slowly and naturally. Just enjoy the ride and smile. Hehehe... Go for it!
Love,
Me.
Sometimes life brings sadness,
and sometimes it brings joy.
Together they play together.
sadness give joy space and so do joy.
Together they make this journey of life so meaningful until the afterlife.
Don't forget bravery and fear they too are included in this story.
Bravery cannot live without fear and so do fear.
All of them love and accept each other.
With the help from the rational faculty it brings them balance and peace.
Together it becomes love.
which is the most precious thing that a human can have.
The fuel of the heart burns the spirit.
Isn't that beautiful..?
A journey from God and towards God.
Everything I seek is always with me :)
You,
That I cannot harm,
You're different.
Yet you still feel you're useless.
I stand behind and watched you,
With knife in my hands.
Inches away from you.
watching you murder yourself.
I carried you to safety.
You know that I know.
Something unspeakable.
Although I'm the dangerous thing for you.
You're the world to me.
But I have no words left to penetrate through your soul.
You're near yet you're running away from me.
Am I not your true anymore?
Your love?
I have wept many tears before,
but for You I wept my heart out.
The only love that I had,
opens the door to my heart.
Dear Lord.
You're the most merciful.
Any knowledge cannot save me except You.
You are the light of my life.
The love of my life.
Only You.
Dear Love,
How are you..?
I always remember the way you call my name.
It's annoying but still I miss it a lot.
I can't deny that I am not near physically when you need me to talk to.
I feel bad..
I know that you forgive me.
Like you did every single night.
I miss holding your hand before and after I went out.
I miss how I have to rush just to see if you okay.
I still can remember that day.
I was strong just for you and father.
I did not cry although only Allah knows how I feel.
Now--
My life is different without you here in this realm.
I remember how you would make me happy.
You bought me video games that I love so much.
No one can do that for me.
How it is really hard to write about this...
Love...
I will always remember you in my prayers..
I'm not like you.
but--
I did what I can...
I did what I can...
Thank you so much for taking care of me until now.
I love you so much...
One day, we will meet again InsyaAllah...
If you can read this. Please pray for me if you can still pray over there.
Pray for father too...
He miss you too..
Take care over there love...
Take care.
