You are more than a sun.
That light the path within me;
I was blind and cold in my own darkness.
You make my heart have eyes,
even my eyes are a blurry.
You gave warmth words that brings me back from the brinks of death.
Only You my life begins and end.
Only You my Love.
Only You...
When I was a kid I always love drawing the creatures in the depth of the sea such as cockle, Oyster, fishes, crabs and sharks. I love to draw them so much that I repeatedly draw them when I was in kindergarten. I love animals. I used to have a little black turtle and a green tortoise. They live in an aquarium both of them can live in an aquarium. I didn't know that they live in a different environment back then. Now I realize It was wonderful to know that they can live harmony together in the same place. The turtle's habitat is at the ocean and the tortoise live in near the lake. It's beautiful to know that now. Wow... Other than that, I love cats. There are lots of cat that I used to have. I cannot remember how much but it is a lot! I love their abstract line on their body. I love their sharp eyes and claw and also their muscular thigh and thick fur. Their awkward behavior makes me laugh. I love them a lot especially my current cat Fong. He is my favorite because he is my grandmother's cat. I'm lucky that Allah made me loves cats. They are cute and beautiful in their own way. It's funny how I tried to flush a kitten into a toilet and also tried to throw another into a pond. Maybe I wanted to know does a cat really have 9 life? Although I'm a kid but still my mind is like a scientist always seek for evidence in life. I had forgive myself for behaving that way.
I remember just now that I used to draw butterfly with weird wings. It's easy to draw them and I love drawing them using colors. I also like catching them using a fish catcher while waiting for the van driver to pick me up to school. Nowadays I don't see butterflies anymore. I also love dragonfly. They are awesome!
I used to look and read books. Especially encyclopedia about animals, Egyptian civilization, world map, the earth elements, minerals, planets and their orbits etc. I really love reading and make observations regarding the world. But my dad always gave away my books including my thick storybooks about frogs and toads. It made me think about how magical this world is and to make me wonder about how magical God is. I remember when I was in primary school I didn't have any friends but when it was recess time, after I quickly ate homemade sandwich from home I went to the library to read books about prophets. I'm scared to ask but I didn't know that I can borrow books but anyway the stories were magical. I never got tired of reading them. I keep wondering about the world until I didn't know that I don't have many friends. I don't care actually. From then on I keep thinking.
I love thinking, to wonder, to question things. I didn't aware about my emotions until recently. that is why I write about it to let me know myself and what I love in life. I love thinking, writing, wondering, researching also people watching. Its because human is the most complex being that I keep on observing and I just learn the most basic things about us human. I got to know various things about us human such as basic biological process, physiology, anatomy, personalities, psychology, religion, spirituality, relationship and it kept going. There are a lot of things to know about us.
To get to know the self that consist of the aqal, the nafs and the ruh. "To know the self is to know our creator" I always remind myself about this. To dive from the beauty of the creation into the unknown of creation. That is what I love the most. I did this for me and if I found something so precious in the depth of my knowledge that portrayed the truth I will share with everyone. That is me. Now I realize that I am this kind of person. The truth seeker that wanted to share the precious knowledge of the world. To give the knowledge so that others could chew on needs me to learn about emotions that I left it long time ago. I didn't know It has benefit. Nevertheless now I know. I'm glad I know. It made me softer. So a philosopher like me learn about the mystic of emotions. Funny. Only God can teach me the emotions I need so that I can teach with such love about the knowledge of the unknown. This is only the summary. Thank you for reading.
It's funny that the same kind of soul possess opposite path in life.
On the East, it is the path of the inner world. Spirituality.
On the West it is the path of the outer world. Materialism.
As you can see it is actually a paradox.
The west seek the inner depth of soul
Meanwhile the fools of the east seek the materialism world. Like cattle.
As I see this it broke my heart. Shattered.
We are human being.
The same red blood flow in our veins.
The same light given in our soul.
Yet we tend to break apart due to our differences.
For me the differences are the reflection of God.
The depth of everything is the path to God.
The Accuracy of Wisdom is not in us but only Him.
and--
The universe as a whole represents the infinite possibilities of God.
Only those that can see with the light of God reflect from the heart can see their path,
towards salvation!
Do you know that in this world the smallest things matter the most?
I didn't realized it until now.
I admit that I was wrong but then what is wrong actually?
It doesn't exist.
Many things doesn't exist actually.
It is just an efficient way for humans to express themselves.
Various expression.
So can we say for example that one are the smartest of all?
Nope-
Everyone is smart in their own way, you just need to open your mind and heart.
Always the heart that had opened can see even the veil of God.
Such powerful vibration it can give throughout the world.
So, it must be 'true' then that the smallest things matter the most?
